I. INTRODUCTION
We have been audiences of
contemporary love songs for years since we learn to appreciate music and lyrics.
Many songs sing of the brokenness of their hearts when the lovers fall out of
their love, yet there are many songs that sing of the wonders, the greatness
and the sweetness of love when the couple are in their passionate loving moments.
See how Adele proclaims about the strength of love in her lyrics:
‘Whenever I am alone with
you, you make me feel like I am home again.
Whenever I am alone with
you, you make me feel like I am whole again.
Whenever I am alone with
you, you make me feel like I am young again.
Whenever I am alone with
you, you make me feel like I am fun again.
Whenever I am alone with
you, you make me feel like I am free again.
Whenever I am alone with you,
you make me feel like I am clean again.’
The lyrics above indicate
to us that love seems to be a powerful and wonderful therapy or language for
those who feel that they are homeless, broken, aging, unhappy, in bondage or contaminated.
To many out there in the world, they are seeking for love like seeking a
Saviour. Love, spoken or unspoken, is the greatest language of healing and
comfort. Is there a love song found in the Bible speaking about couple’s love?
Surely it has! Let’s turn to the book of Song of Songs 1:15 and read on to 2:3,
and discover the lyrics and languages of love that are sung in the Word of God.
II. LANGUAGES OF LOVE
SUNG
This passage is a small
portion of the Song that was sung centuries ago. It is extolled and attested by
the Jewish rabbis as the greatest and superlative song that has ever existed.
It is still sung today by the Jews during their Passover season to express the
love and commitment between God and His people. Yet it is literally a love song
known to sing of the love of a young couple. Here we are caught by surprised to
see how positively God has perceived human’s erotic love, love that enhances
and heightens one’s self value through the languages that spoken towards one
another in a loving relationship. It is a fantastic song that you could sing to
your lover too.
What are the languages of
love that we could find in this passage of the Song? There are four main
languages we are going to further elaborate this morning, i.e. languages of
admiration (1:15-16a), appreciation (1:16b-17), affirmation (2:1-3a) and
appropriation (2:3b).
1.
LANGUAGE OF ADMIRATION (1:15-16A)
V15 and v16 are mutual
praises of the couple towards one another, initiated by the man and echoed by
the woman. Both have discovered the opposite sex to be beautiful (yāpāh for female, and yāp̄eh for male) in their eyes.
1.1. INITIATION OF ADMIRATION (1:15)
1:15 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how
beautiful! Your eyes are doves.
Still
remember how the exclamation of Adam was when he first saw Eve brought before
him? Wow! ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh;’ A bewildered
look could be recaptured now in the eyes of the man when he looks at his beloved
here. With a cry of ‘hinnāk’ (oh! Ah!), he repeats his
praises for her beauty.
What have captured the whole attention of the man are the eyes
of the woman, which are doves (or like doves). Dove is a common animal icons
and imagery of lovemaking with the power of seduction. It is perceived by the
ancient Near East people as the messenger of love, and Hebrews understands it
to denote to the eyes of the woman which are sparkled with dynamics and
liveliness.
People always say that eyes are windows of our souls. Eyes
convey our inner intention. A glance from the woman has signalled a deep message
of love, and he finds himself lost in the ocean of her love and attractiveness.
I believe many have experienced this wonderful feeling of love. It is more than
words that could express.
Admiration
usually is the very initial language in a love relationship. Before you love
someone, you must find him or her admirable in some aspects. It is important and
helpful for the relationship if this sense of admiration is expressed verbally.
Love has to be conveyed in a language that could be heard and understood. In
this portion of Song, the man takes the initiative to praise the woman.
Language of admiration gives strength to a relationship. Men, admire the beauty
of your spouses and give your praises as frequent as possible.
1.2 RESPONSE
WITH ADMIRATION (16A)
1:16a How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how
charming!
Love is never one way
express. It needs a corresponding effort to make it workable. Here the woman
responds to the praises of man with the same praises she receives from him,
echoing her admiration and adoration for her lover (dōwdî,
my lover). He is not just handsome, but he is charming (nā‘îm) too in her eyes. He is altogether sweet, lovely and
pleasant.
A
relationship grows and develops further and deeper if the couple know how to
admire one another in a reciprocal manner. Keep on discovering all the positive
traits in your spouse or lover, and give your praises unreservedly. Praises
sweeten your relationship and normally yield a good response from the other
party. Mutual admiration is a good soil for a love relationship to blossom and
bear fruits.
2. LANGUAGE
OF APPRECIATION (16B-17)
Here
is the woman’s description of their ‘love nest’, constructed in the image of the
‘bed’ and the ‘house/houses’ they share in privacy. With her imaginative mind
she sees beyond their current environment, and appreciates the grandness and
originality the nature provides for them. Her appreciation speaks of the wonder
of love, that love does make all things beautiful and bountiful in the eyes of
lovers.
2.1
APPRECIATE THE NATURE OF WHAT YOU HAVE (1:16B)
1:16b And our bed is verdant.
Our
bed ( ‘arśênūthey) could be a kind of long sleeping chair known as ‘couch’. If
we take into consideration of those descriptions narrated in v17, it could mean
that the woman is picturing a special bed with bedstead overshadowed by curtain
covered on top. Yet from the context we know that the couple is at the
countryside and they are actually lying on a greenery ground. Their bed ‘is
verdant’ (ra‘ănān) means that it ‘is green, flourishing, leafty or luxuriant’.
‘Verdant’ could be referred to a tree, or leaves of tree that spread under them
that contribute to the greenness of their bed.
Women
are commonly more sensitive to the environment they are in. While the man’s
attention is purely and wholly on the physical beauty of the woman, she notices
the surroundings and voices her appreciation. They are not lying on spring bed
nor water bed, but bed that is provided by the nature itself. It might not be
comfortable, but the woman acknowledges its greenness and sings of her
appreciation.
It
seems that what matters to the woman is the time and space to be alone with her
lover, and she cares less about the ‘quality’ of their meeting place. Love
truly can divert the heart or attention of men and women, from looking not on
the imperfection but to the goodness one could discover in his/her environment
or situation.
2.2
APPRECIATE THE VALUE OF WHAT YOU HAVE (1:17)
1:17 The beams of our house are cedars; Our
rafters are firs.
The woman tells us what
kind of ‘house’ they dwell in now. ‘Beams’ are the roofs while ‘rafters’ are
the walls. The roofs of their house are actually overarched by those branches
of cedars springing above their heads, and the walls of the house are purely interwoven
by the trunks of firs surrounding them. They live in a house that is built by
the nature itself, the trees of cedars and the firs.
Cedar and firs are wooden
materials used by Solomon to construct the temple and the palace. They are
considered as the best building materials found on earth. When the woman says
that their ‘house’ is made up of cedars and firs, she actually says that their
house is the most valuable building of their time, comparable even to the
magnificence and majesty outlook of the temple and palace of Solomon
Many couples live in
situations where they could not appreciate their living condition, especially
when the demands of life are intensified and a sense of competition from the peers
set in the picture. Families break down and couples are in conflicts because
they see the problems in their environment and shortage in their financial
supplies. They are yet to learn to appreciate those small houses they live and
those old cars they drive. They are yet to appreciate the nature and value of
those possessions they have. The woman’s attitude reminds us that the substance
of love itself is far more important and valuable than one could gain from
material acquisition. When love is the centre, the language is always positive
and appreciative.
3. LANGUAGE
OF AFFIRMATION (2:1-3A)
There
is always a sense of uncertainty and wavering thought that will go through the
mind of those loving couples. Questions will surface and one will doubt of one’s
worth in another’s eyes. Am I more attractive to him comparing to other girls
who seem to be younger and more beautiful than myself? Am I good enough for
him? How does he perceive me and what am I linked to? The woman seems to
experience this struggle especially she has an issue of inferiority complex.
But we see that the problem is solved by the affirmative remarks from her
lover. She is able once again to be assured of her worth and re-affirm her love
for her lover. Love is a language that affirms and adds on value to lift up the
spirit of one another.
3.1 INVITATION
OF AFFIRMATION (2:1)
2:1 I am a rose of
Sharon, a lily of the valleys.
In
1:5 the woman has mentioned of her low self-esteem towards her skin colour in
comparison to the daughters of Jerusalem
We have to understand that
the statement of the woman has actually conveyed a message of invitation,
waiting for the reply from her lover. She likes to hear out comments from her
man. She is indeed asking her lover to do an assessment and evaluation upon her
self-appraisal.
It is a common need especially
found in the hearts of many women. Most of them desire to be affirmed by the
words and praises from men. Understand the mind of your lover and response well
in every invitation that is given to you. Do not be stingy in your words of
affirmation, for it has the power to transform the quality of your love
relationship.
3.2 GIVING
OF AFFIRMATION (2:2)
2:2 Like a lily among
thorns is my darling among the maidens.
The
man does not disappoint her. He picks up her self-description and further
affirms of her beauty and outstanding position. No doubt she is like a lily,
but she is not a lily among the lilies of the valley. In fact she is compared
to a lily among thorns. Thorns are useless, unapproachable and unattractive
plants. The daughters of Jerusalem
There
is a need to have constant affirmation of love and commitment towards one
another for a lasting love relationship. Unanswered doubts bring in instability
in the relationship and create more doubts and uncertainties. To love someone,
we have to constantly affirm them of who they are to us and how much they mean
for us. It is only when we are in love that we are able to discover the hidden beauty of one another, and see some
specialities out of mass commonness.
3.3 REWARD
OF AFFIRMATION (2:3A)
2:3a Like an apple
tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men.
The
woman upon receiving the affirmation from her lover, issues in great joy her
affirmation to her lover. To him, she is a lily among the thorns, and to her,
he now becomes an apple tree among the forest. He is outstanding and marvellous
among his peers. He is identified among the nameless group, a fruit tree in the
midst of those trees that bear no fruit. He brings sense of identify and
security to her. He is the only one her heart and mind devote to.
Love
always functions in a reciprocal manner. To be rewarded you have to work hard
in rewarding your partner too. Proverbs tells us that as we refreshed others we
will be refreshed. There are ample of opportunities for us to affirm our love
ones, and we will find our relationship far more enriching than we could
imagine, as we will experience tremendous affirmation too from them.
4.
LANGUAGE OF APPROPRIATION (2:3B)
The
greatest language of love is spoken when we allow our lovers to share
intimately of what we have. This language of love goes far more than the
surface of feelings one has. It is a determination to open oneself and allows
the other party to access the inner part, the secret of one’s richness, most
probably is the sexual enjoyment between a loving couple. It is the process of withdrawing
from and giving to one another as love progresses and matures.
4.1
APPROPRIATION OF HIS SHELTER (2:3B)
2:3b I delight to
sit in his shade,
The
OT speaks of shade as an image of protection from the dangers. The man might
not be the strongest among all, but he is willing and is able to cover her from
the heat of the scorching sun and protect her from the harassment of other men.
She finds delight and is secured under the shadow of his wings.
Men
are meant to be stronger in physical sense and tend to be able to provide a
safe environment for their love ones. Many women find it secured to be in the
arms of their husbands or lovers. Be there for your lover and be a pillar of
strength she could find support and reliance.
4.2 APPROPRIATION
OF HIS LOVE (2.3B)
2:3b and his fruit is sweet
to my taste.
Upon
giving shelter to the woman, the apple tree is meant to provide fruit for her
enjoyment. The fruit could denote to the sexual love that the man has which
only the woman he loves is entitled to have a rightful appropriation. The fruit
is sweet and it nourishes and refreshes the entire being of the woman.
Love
always ends up in unconditional and sacrificial giving. We could imitate the
man, giving all he has, leaves for covering, trunk for leaning, ground for
resting and fruit for eating. Given the right to appropriate what he has, the
woman is satisfied in his love and abundance. Give all you can for your lover and
enjoy the sweetness of love you could discover from your lover. That is the
greatest wonders one could find in a love relationship.
III. CONCLUSION
The Song has indeed spoken
for us some love languages we could exercise in our intimate relationship with
our spouse. Love language always tells of the positive sides of a story and
aims to heighten the value of one another, so that both could be benefited and
satisfied by the presence and love of one another.
Speak the languages of
love. Admire your love one. Appreciate what you have or what is given to you.
Affirm your love for one another. Appropriate what are rightfully yours from
one another. Let the love abound and the blessings of God overflow in our
midst.
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