I.
INTRODUCTION
Marriage
in crisis is not only found among non-believing partners with marital breakdowns
everywhere, but the Church has constantly been threatened with Christian
marital issues on scale. Divorce and remarriage is merely a freeman choice for most
of the people of this age. Many see the marital covenant to be just a piece of
legal paper which is powerless to secure their future and happiness. Marriage
for life seems to be a myth for contemporary folks.
In
a post-modernism world, marital breakdowns could be contributed by the rising
trends of individualism and feminism, stressful lifestyle, non-absolutism towards
biblical truth, liberal or different biblical interpretations, changes in civil
law, increase concerns in psychological issues, cultural and social shifts or pastoral
care and concerns etc. All these increase complexity and conflicts within a
marriage.[1]
When
a couple ends a marriage with a willful choice, is their marriage considered
void and dead in God’s eyes though the marital contract is terminated in legal
sense? Are divorced people allowed for a second marriage from a biblical
perspective? We have first to review the essence of marriage in God’s terminology,
followed by divorce and remarriage in biblical views and weigh all these with
existing pastoral concerns of the Church.
II.
WHAT
CONSTITUTES A MARRIAGE
Marriage finds its origin in the Beginning and forms part of God’s Creation. In Genesis 2:18 God says “it is not good for man to be alone”, thus He created a helper suitable for Adam. Adam described Eve as “the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh” (Genesis 2:23). Genesis 2:24 clearly states that, “for this reason man has to leave his father and mother and is united with his wife and they become one flesh. “ A new family unit is formed with the joining in of one man and one woman.
Thus
we understand that God is the One who has established the institution of
marriage in the Garden of Eden. Marriage is never a man-made traditional or
cultural event. It is God who orchestrates it. Marriage is a universal event
and God’s purpose or will for the marriage is applicable to all men without
exceptions, even those marriages among non-believers which do not fall under
the Church’s covering.
Marriage
constitutes three basic elements. There are some common understandings between
Bible, civil laws and legislation and general public found within these
essences of marriage:
Firstly, marriage relationship is permanent with
voluntary commitment between a man and a woman. They come together in mutual
consent to work on and hold that relationship as covenanted, sacred and
permanent. The marriage vows taken by the marital partners seal them for a
lifelong commitment towards one another in fulfilling their marital
responsibilities and duties thereafter. It is a covenant witnessed by the public,
validated by the law and endorsed by God. Marriage is monogamy, therefore husband
and wife are to share their full life and grow together in an intimate way
within their wedlock exclusively.
Secondly,
marriage forms a family unit where the man is to be the head of the new family.
The couple has to leave their origin families physically, emotionally and
psychologically[2]
and be free from their parental influences or control. The married couple is to
“leave” or “forsake” their old commitments towards their parents and “cleave”
for one another in a new covenantal commitment. Ephesians 5:22-33 lays down
family order and marital roles of a husband and a wife, that husband is to love
his wife, and the wife is to submit to her husband.
Thirdly,
there should be bodily sexual consummation between the married couple. The two
shall become one flesh and sexual intercourse is what makes marital
relationship unique among all human relationships. Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
exhorted the married couples to fulfill their marital responsibilities in
meeting the sexual needs of their spouses. In marriage, one’s body no longer
belongs to himself or herself, but to his or her spouse. As expressed by James
H. Olthuis, “God called husband and wife to an exclusive, lifelong partnership
of love, a partnership of troth or fidelity. Marriage is a mutual, permanent,
exclusive, one flesh union between husband and wife, characterized by troth or
fidelity”[3]
III.
GOD
AND MARRIAGE
Throughout
the Bible, God portrays marriage as a covenantal relationship He has with His
chosen people. God longs for more than initiating and establishing the
institution of marriage, but He desires for this earthly relationship to
reflect His love, faithfulness and commitment towards His chosen people, and
vice versa.
The
prophets in the Old Testament have linked the love of God towards Israelites
with the love of a husband towards his wife. Hosea embodied faithful and loving
God, whom as a husband was betrayed and deserted by his adulterous wife who
represented the nation of Israelites (Hosea 1:2; 2:16, 19-20). In Jeremiah
31:33, Israelites were referred to as a wife who broke the covenant with God her
husband. Isaiah 54:5-7 gives hope to a deserted and distressed wife who was
waiting for the deliverance of the husband, her Maker. Prophet Ezekiel alleged
an unfaithful city of Jerusalem which was once belonged to God in His covenant
and favored by Him (Ezekiel 16:6-8). Malachi rebuked the unfaithfulness of the
husbands who broke their faith with their wives of youth and asserted that God
was a witness in their marriages.[4]
In
the New Testament, Paul has admonished the husband and wife to be in a
relationship of mutual love and submission just like how Christ loves the
Church and sacrifices for her. Christ is depicted as the Bridegroom who will
come and receive His Bride (His Church) on the day of His return (Revelation
19:7-8; 21:2). The return of Christ will be the day of the wedding of the Lamb.
When
God enters into a covenant relationship with His people, we can be assured of
His faithfulness in keeping it. We observe from the Old Testament that
regardless of the rebellious and unrepentant attitudes Israelites had through
their adulterous and idolatry acts, God in His unceasing love and mercy embraced
them with His mighty arms and forgave their sins again and again. The love of
God compelled Him to pursue after the wayward nation of Israel. Christ dies for
the Church and His covenant with the church is indissoluble, sealed with the
blood of Christ and the witness of the Holy Spirit. What God requires of His
Bride are fidelity, chastity and loyalty. The passion possessed by God for His
divine covenant, according to Apostle Paul, is applicable to the human marriage
between a husband and a wife, who are called to live such a noble living in
order to reveal His glorious image.
IV.
DIVORCE
& REMARRIAGE
A.
THE BATTLE OF CONFLICTS
THOUGHTOUT CENTURIES
The ideal blueprint of God for marriage has been marred by human sins. The increase social illness and psychological problems have caused the institution of marriage at stake. The civil law has legitimated divorces based on various reasons, e.g. serious crimes, impotency, leprosy, insanity, prolonged absence of one partner, malicious desertion, cruelty, domestic violence, life threatening cases etc.
In
Christian arena, denominations argue from scriptural perspectives trying to
justify the rights for divorce and remarriage. Some of the arguments are based
on pastoral concerns which are inevitable due to corruption of mankind and the
unredeemed sinful natures, such as those mentioned under the civil laws
grounded for divorce. The disputes have contributed to divisions of churches
throughout history.
The
Fathers of Early Church were in unison prohibiting the possibilities of divorce
and remarriage among believers. The Roman Catholics hold that marriage is a
sacrament and thus indissoluble, but they provide a clause to allow the
marriage to be nullified based on some valid reasons. For conservative
protestants it is a strictly “no” for any divorce and remarriage. But for the
liberals in Christendom, divorce and remarriage are both allowed, and the
reasons can be varied in range.
During
the days of Jesus, the school of Shammai and Hillel have possessed different
views regarding the issue of divorce and remarriage based on the law found in
Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Shammai held strictly that divorce is permitted only for
the case of adultery whereas Hillel allowed divorce at any reasons. It is
during this occasion Jesus brought up an evolutionary thought which superseded
what they have believed in. Marriage to Jesus is God’s mandate entrusted to
mankind and is it not man’s invention. Therefore it is not to be severed by any
man either directly or indirectly.
B.
WHAT DOES BIBLE SAY
ABOUT DIVORCE?
According
to Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:6 the divorce of a married couple is definitely
forbidden, as they “are no longer two, but one.” Jesus clearly told us that “what
God has joined together, let men not separate”. But Moses allowed the
certificate of divorce to be issued to a married woman due to the hardened
heart of a husband. The issue of divorce certificate was indeed permitted as a
source of protection over the woman, proving that she was dismissed in
innocence and she would not be stigmatized as adulterer when she sought for
remarriage due to social or economic concern[5]. The certificate of
divorce is neither a license nor a verdict to justify that God does permit
divorce in His original plan for marriage, even though the Jewish and Roman
laws of Jesus’ time allow it. The same principle applies to our days when contemporary
laws agree so with most of the Pharisees of those days.
Circumstances
where divorce is allowed are only when there are “porneia” (Matthew 5:31-32), which means indecencies of marital
partners, including all kinds of illicit sexual intercourse like adultery,
fornication, homosexual relationships, incest or bestiality. It is when the
fidelity of “one flesh” has been intruded, and the marital partners are unable
to bear under such circumstances, that the idea of divorce is tolerated. Jesus
clearly expressed the original intention of God is not for any man to issue
divorce certificate to his wife, regardless of whatever reasons he might argue
upon.
Andrew
Cornes concluded that there is only under one occasion that the New Testament
allows that a Christian may (not “must”) initiate in divorcing his or her
partner, that is under the condition of marital infidelity, “porneia”.[6] Paul made an exception
where a Christian is not bound by marital duty when an unbelieving partner
insists on leaving (1Corinthians 7: 15).
C.
IS REMARRIAGE PERMISSIBLE
IN BIBLE?
Jesus’
remarks in Mark 10:10-12 and Luke 16:18 are concrete and precise, that
remarriage while the divorced partner is still alive is committing adultery which
was found in the seventh Commandment. Romans 7:3 provides the opportunities for
divorced women to remarry if only upon the death of her husband whom she had lawfully
wedded. The Word of God has shown a vivid picture for us that marriage binds
marital partners for life physically, morally and spiritually, until death do
them apart. The marriage bond will only be dissolved when either one of the
marital partner dies (1Corinthians 7:39), then the alive is free to remarry.
If
divorce did happen, the Bible has provided guidelines for the divorcees that they
could either remain single or they have to seek reconciliation with their
divorced spouses (1Corinthians 7:10-11). The separation is a time provided for
the divorced parties to reflect, repent and to seek reconciliation to be
reunion in a marital relationship with their spouses.
D. THE PASTORAL CONCERNS
The
struggle for the church today is how to balance out the ordinance of God for
the marriage since the Creation and the contemporary quest for pastoral
concerns and care for the person in a broken and hurtful marriage. Many people
today might not be agreeing to an absolute “no” for divorce, especially when
they have personally experienced and suffered through marriage crisis or see
other agonizing along a complete hopeless marriage with irresolvable issues.
The conviction of many will be a choice of less evil.
It
is indeed practical to take into consideration of human fallen nature and to
acknowledge that marriages do fail and sometimes it is better for the partners
to be separated in order to prevent further hurts either emotionally or
physically. Nevertheless the intention of the separation or divorce should be
creating a venue for reconciliation in future through prayers and counseling,
especially when both partners are Christians who are called to be
Christ-likeness. The temporal failure does not eliminate the possibility of a
future success in marriage if the couple is willing to come under wise counsel
and guidance. As Charles R. Swindoll has confidently declared that there is no
marital problem so great that God cannot solve it.[7] The One who designs the
marriage shall make it work with His eternal principles.
Any
pastoral concerns should take into account the whole effect of our decisions
upon the community rather than meeting individual needs. We live in a world
that emphasizes individualism and personal rights and the Church needs to avoid
being swung towards soul care in an extreme manner that neglecting its mission in
directing people towards a holy, consecrated, self-denial and sacrificial
living for the Lord. Marriage is a social issue and any divorce and remarriage
bring social impact on a community. Any breakdown or irrecoverable marriage
among Christian couples speaks about failures of the Church or Christian family
in obeying the Great Commandment from the Lord Jesus, who has empowered us with
the Holy Spirit to live a life of loving our neighbors as loving ourselves.
Douglas J. Brouwer says that God calls us into relationship and equips us with
everything we need to make our relationships life-giving and life-affirming.[8]
The
Church needs to stand firm upon biblical principles in order to avoid being
yoked with the world and allowing worldly systems and values to influence and
ultimately dilute and replace biblical understanding. This serves to protect
the Church when believers are merely trying all ways to get out of their
“incompatible or unsatisfactory” marriage and seek for alternatives in marital
status. Furthermore Marriage is a temporal and not an eternity order and we
need to view it in eschatological perspective, because there is no marriage in
heaven.[9]
The
Church needs to consistent in teaching the Truth and conveying the biblical
principles in a concise manner that the people of God are able to know the
heartbeat of God and strive as a community to outshine the world without
compromising under any contemporary pressures, either inwardly or outwardly of
the Church.
V.
CONCLUSION
When
we comprehend the intention and purpose of God for the marriage, we are clear
that divorce is not the original will in God’s master plan for the married
couples, let alone remarriage after divorce. The marital failures nowadays are
mainly due to a world which has turned away from biblical teachings and rebelled
against God. When men start to seeks for their rights rather than fulfilling
their God-given duties, they have deviated from the path of righteousness and
headed towards destruction. This causes fragmentation in all human relationship
inclusive of marital bond.
The
Church as delegated authority of God to provide spiritual covering for His
people shall reflect upon the truth of God and direct its congregations unto
the path of life and righteousness, reconciliation and peace. Instead of being
too humane and focus on personal needs relating to the issues of marriage,
divorce and remarriage, the Church needs to be courageous to rise up above the
pressures and demands of the world and stands as a lighthouse to radiate the
light of Jesus.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Atkinson,
David. To Have & To Hold. Grand Rapids:
William B. Eerdmans Publishing
Company, 1981.
Brouwer, Douglas J. Beyond “I Do”: What Christians Believe About Marriage.
Cambridge: Williams B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2001.
Corners, Andrew. Divorce
and Remarriage: Biblical Principles & Pastoral Practices.
London: Hodder
& Stoughton, 1993.
H.
Olthuis, James. I Pledge You my Troth. New
York: Wedge Publishing Foundation,
1975.
Heth, William A. & Cordon J. Wenham, Jesus And Divorce. London: Hodder and
Stoughton, 1985.
Phypers,
David. Christian Marriage In Crisis.
Bromley Kent: MARC Europe, 1985.
R. Swindoll, Charles. Strike The Original Match. Minnesota: World Wide Publication,
1980.
Zodhiates,
Th., D, Spiros. May I Divorce and Remarry.
AMG Publishers:
Chattanooga,
1989.
[1] David Atkinson,
To Have & To Hold (Grand Rapids:
William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1981), 9-25.
[2] Andrew
Corners, Divorce and Remarriage: Biblical
Principles & Pastoral Practices (London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1993),
57.
[3] James H.
Olthuis, I Pledge You my Troth (New
York: Wedge Publishing Foundation, 1975), 20.
[4] David Phypers, Christian Marriage In Crisis (Bromley
Kent: MARC Europe, 1985), 17-20.
[5] Spiros
Zodhiates, Th., D., May I Divorce and
Remarry (AMG Publishers : Chattanooga, 1989), 143.
[6] Cornes, Divorce & Remarriage, 298.
[7] Charles R.
Swindoll, Strike The Original Match
(Minnesota: World Wide Publication, 1980), 135.
[8] Douglas J.
Brouwer, Beyond “I Do”: What Christians
Believe About Marriage (Cambridge: Williams B. Eerdmans Publishing Company,
2001), 160.
[9] William A. Heth
& Cordon J. Wenham, Jesus And Divorce
(London: Hodder and Stoughton, 1985), 201.
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